Although I've learned a lot over the past 15 months and am still learning; God has really been pointing out my lack of humility (a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness). I went to the states for two weeks in the beginning of January and since returning I feel as if God is really trying to stretch and grow me; really point out where I'm 'tooting my own horn', trying to prove that I'm right, or expecting something in return. I am surrounded by some of the most humble, amazing, and inspiring people here at GLA. They work day in and day out never expecting a thank you, a gift, or recognition for who they are or what they do.
I worked so hard to be confident in who I am but somewhere along the line in gaining confidence in myself, cockiness started to peak its ugly self. I've always been stubborn and I know in some ways that can be good but I need(ed) to learn I'm not always right. Lesson upon lesson... each more painful that the last and God continues to teach me I'm hurting other people and my relationships along with myself when acting without humility. Bringing people down to bring myself up, expecting recognition, or being cocky is not the way of a confident, humble, or godly woman at all. So somewhere in the breakdown, I got lost and sometimes, I just need to learn to shut my dang mouth and give a little grace! Thanking God for placing such amazing examples in my life and for His continual grace given to all of us that don't even come close to deserving it.
...to be continued (eventually)...
-B
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