Lyrics to ease a heavy heart.

Jars of Clay: Love Will Find Us

Child of all creation don't let the world define you
And if you can't remember who you are
Let these words remind you

On the path of the empty handed
He will speak to the heart of the abandoned

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

So hard to feel the fires of home
When all we see is darkness
We forgive but not our own and grasp what's around us

Till the dawn starts to break around you
Let all the stars in the night remind you

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

Run to these arms, be not alone
Run to these arms, be not alone
Run to these arms, be not alone
Run to these arms, be not alone

Love will find us all
Love will find us all
Love will find us all (Run to these arms, be not alone)
Love will find us all (Run to these arms, be not alone)
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

The Process. (or so it seems)

So as many of you may have seen on my facebook; our dear sweet Wadagens was able to have his heart surgery this week. I want to go ahead and thank all of those who have been praying for Wadagens before, during and now after surgery. The process is very complex in Haiti and I don't believe anyone can fully comprehend the process whether you are part of the surgical team, a staff member at God's Littlest Angels or a prayer partner throughout the world.

Now, to start off... the process of getting Wadagens to have his surgery started way before I even got to Haiti; God had this planned from the beginning. This post will be composed of the past month spent with Wadagens.

Earlier this year, news spread to our Pediatrician that a French team of heart surgeons with an organization called The Heart Fund to Fight Cardiovascular Disease was coming to do their second mission in Haiti. Their first mission was this past April and just three children were chosen for surgery. This past Wednesday-December 5th, the staff at GLA was told that Wadegens was going to be evaluated as a possible candidate for surgery the following week. So on Wednesday afternoon Rebecca, Irland (a Haitian student nurse & staff member at GLA), Wadson (our driver & also a staff member), & Wadagens went to the clinic in Petionville about 20 min from God's Littlest Angels. At the time they were told he could not be evaluated unless they had blood for him... Blood for him? What? Apparantly to even be evaluated in Haiti you must have two units of blood on standby  and credited to Wadagens to be sure he would have blood available to him if needed during a possible surgery.

So Thursday morning, December 6th,  a few GLA staff members-Irland, Molly, Melissa, Rhyan, Rebecca & myself brought Wadagens back to the clinic to get a type and cross to get his blood type. Molly, Melissa, Rhyan, Rebecca & I then proceeded to go to General Hospital in Port Au Prince where the Red Cross was located. Upon entering the Red Cross I was very surprised to see about 20 people waiting with canisters and ice to get blood from the Red Cross... Thankfully, we were able to just drop Wadagen's type and cross off at the Red Cross and then we were redirected to a more "americanized" Red Cross in Port Au Prince which we all went to give blood. As I said before, he needed two units on standby... but they required four people to give blood. Thankfully, we brought five because I was sadly too anemic to give blood but Molly, Melissa, Rhyan & Rebecca were all able to give! I think we were all pleasantly surprised at the process at the newer more "americanized" Red Cross. It was actually faster than giving in the states and it was clean and well run... but we were also the only people coming to donate.

Thursday evening and Friday were essentially "rest" days until the next part of becoming a surgical candidate began...

Onto Saturday, December 8th. Dixie, Rebecca, Wadagens & I left early morning to spend the day at the clinic. He was number 23 on the list to be seen. While we waited Wadson, picked up the two units of blood for Wadagens...remember I said we needed to have those present prior to evaluation and he also so kindly brought us lunch! At about 1:30 Wadagens was seen, he had a quick echo done, was weighed & they reviewed charts and labs from previous evaluations. The concern for Wadagens is he only weighs about 10kg and surgeries had not been completed in Haiti on children this small with with this particular organization. So we left the clinic Saturday with a "We'll call you and let you know". So we all waited, anxiously waiting to find out if he was chosen... and we waited... and we waited. We thought we'd know by Sunday night but by Sunday night came and went and there had been no call.

8:15am Monday morning, December 10th, Dixie gets a call and Rebecca & I get a knock on our door to get Wadagens ready... Today MAY be the day but we needed to come to the clinic as soon as possible to start "the process". So Monday we spent the day at the clinic again. He had a more detailed echo done and more labs drawn pretty quickly after getting there and then we waited... Until about 4:30pm, we found out he was next on the list to get his surgery and was brought up to be prepped! He was going to have the surgery & he was going to have it that night! Until then we really didn't know if he was actually chosen.

Monday night Wadagens spent the night alone as they said they did not allow visitors. Just one visitor at a time and just for a short time. Tuesday morning rolled around and Dixie, Rebecca & I headed back down to the clinic to check on him... from what we understand the first night by himself was rough but I was not there so I really do not know the details of what occurred. Rebecca was allowed up around 9:15am. At first Rebecca & I were going to stay at the clinic and switch back in forth but at about 10am, Dixie and I had to leave to pick up a baby who was referred to God's Littlest Angels for malnutrition and a skin infection. So Rebecca was able to spend the day with him and then after much deliberation by the clinic staff, surgical team and some pushing by our pediatrician, I was able to spend the night (on and off) with him. So Molly was able to drop me off at about 5:30 and pick Rebecca up.Wadagens gets scared easily but as soon as he heard Rebecca or my voice he would calm down, so although at times some of the staff may have not like our presence, Wadagens sure did.

Tuesday morning, Dixie and Rebecca arrived to do another switch. Through out the past two days IV meds, oxygen, nebulizer treatments are being decreased and/or discontinued and he is becoming more comfortable... well as comfortable as a child could be after having open heart surgery. Tonight (Dec 12th) he will spend the night alone, unfortunately his roommate is having multiple complications and an extra person in the small room is not very welcomed, but the surgical team is wonderful and I have confidence that he was well taken care of. We will be back at the clinic in the morning in hopes of a discharge home to his family at God's Littlest Angels.

Truly, I want to thank all of those involved. This could have not been completed by just one person, church doctor, nurse, or just by the staff at GLA. Many prayers have been said, many phone calls made, many hours spent awake and many special considerations made. I am so thankful for the supportive staff that I am surrounded by each day here at GLA. It is such an encouragement to see to so many people work together for the children of Haiti. Miracles can truly happen when people work together with God. He is our ultimate healer. To God be the praise & thanksgiving. He is the one who made this possible for Wadagens.

So as I finish this post... I thank you for your continued prayer as Wadagens journeys to recovery. A child who is loved by many and is one of God's Littlest Angels.

...to be continued...

-B

One thing... Remains. (The Armor of God)

   Your love never fails, never gives up.

Never runs out on me.

  While in the process of preparing to move to Haiti, I was met with a lot of spiritual warfare. I wrote a blog called "Jesus take the wheel", which went into some of the struggles and spiritual warfare I was facing. While in North Carolina, the devil knew exactly where to hit me... and that was financially. I made the decision to move to North Carolina because I knew God wanted me there. I took a significant pay cut and dropped down to only one job (which was a first). I continued to finish my BSN and pay for that. After graduating, my college didn’t file a paper correctly for tax purposes and I got a bill from the IRS (this was eventually fixed) & not to mention the over $10,000 I paid out of pocket for dental work just in the two and a half years I was in North Carolina. Along with a few other bumps along the way, the devil knew finances were the one thing that may hinder me from moving to Haiti. I kept working through each bill, loan, etc… and kept telling Satin to “get out of my life”. After receiving the job offer at GLA, God provided in each circumstance in which “I was running low” and I am continual thankful he gave me the strength and courage to trust in Him and in His promises. I think Satan also realized that God can always beat him, even when it comes to finances! The few weeks before moving I felt calm and comfortable that God would provide because I was doing what he wanted me to do and moving to Haiti to serve Him and the people of Haiti.Fast forward to now. 

     Tomorrow marks three weeks of living in Haiti. I have been healthy and feeling good maybe 5 whole days. I had bronchitis the first week, followed by stomach problems and now I have had fever/chills & Strep Throat since Thursday night. New germs, food, travel, fatigue have most likely played a part in this but seriously in needs to stop. I want to be able to give 100% to the children, staff & volunteers at GLA. In my previous blog post I asked “What do you do to combat spiritual warfare? & Does anyone know of any good verses or passages to read?” I wanted to share what I found in case you were searching yourself and hadn’t found what you were looking for. Ephesians 6:10-20 says:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

     This set of verses is labeled “The Armor of God”; as you face the day doing God’s work, put on the full armor of God and let God do His work in your life. I will stand my ground against Satan and be cheerful, knowing that I am working for the Lord and he is my ultimate healer and provider. He will comfort me in my sickness and help me fight each battle Satan puts in front of me; whatever that may be. As I write this I can’t help but feel selfish. I live in this beautiful country full of beautiful people who are suffering. I know my financial and physical burdens will be healed. Others live without that possibility or even the hope of that possibility. I hope that as I live this life God has given me, I exude the Armor of God and am able to share the hope, strength, courage, & possibilities that come when you have faith in Jesus Christ. I leave you with this verse; “Search for the Lord and for His strength; seek his face always” Psalm 105:4.

…to be continued…

-B


An addendum... A day later.
As I finished up this post yesterday, I really wanted to find a song to lift my spirits along with Ephesians 6:10-20; so here it is: One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture.

In death, In life, I’m confident and

covered by the power of Your great love

My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can

separate my heart from Your great love...

 

Week "number two", in more ways than one.

This past week has just flown by! Sunday marked two weeks here at GLA. There is just so much to see, do & learn (including a lot of names & creole)! I am so glad that the welcoming of both the Haitian and foreign staff has been warm and inviting! Just in the past week we have gotten two admissions and released four back to their mothers from the NICU. Sadly, I was a bit under the weather when the admissions occurred so I wasn't able to see the process, but I'm sure there will be more. In case you missed it (I doubt it), but Thanksgiving also happened this past week! First holiday is Haiti went well! As a nurse and having worked in the restaurant business for many years, I am well acquainted to missing the holidays, but I have to say the food was absolutely delicious, we had fun decorating for Christmas and although I missed my family, the company of the staff and volunteers helped GLA feel like home!

I feel as if I am starting to become accustomed to the flow of the nurseries and the schedules of the children. Slowly, names are being learned and my knowledge of the creole language is expanding. Soon Rebecca & I will start language classes, which will help tremendously. Not only to speak with the children but also to speak with the staff, but as I mentioned before I'm sure there will be many stories about things being lost in translation or misunderstandings... For example! The other day a child just happen to put his hand in his dirty diaper and then proceed to you know, put it in his mouth. I was three seconds too slow for his fast little hands! YUCK, first of all... but pretty typical for a kid. Secondly, I told one of the nurses, "Ah! li manje ca-ca!", I thought I was saying... "Ah! he ate poop!" Little did I know ca-ca is a "bad" word... So, I pretty much said "Ah! He ate S***". What I should have said was "Ah! li manje ta-ta!" (ta-ta=poop). I was very nicely told by my dear friend Miss. Esther that I used a bad word and to use ta-ta instead of ca-ca! Oh man, I quickly apologized for my little mistake! Mwen Regret Sa (I am sorry). Now I know the difference and so do you!

Ok, so now that I've explained that fun time... Here's to more fun times and stories from Haiti & GLA. Off to bed... Early to bed, early to rise as they say.

...to be continued...

-B

Something heavenly.

Well, first things first... November 11, 2012 at just about noon, I stepped back on the soil of my new home... Haiti! Rebecca & I met in Miami airport just before departure to Port au Prince... besides a slight electrical problem on the airplane prior to departure (Thank the Lord!!), traveling went smoothly!! We then met a few nice gentlemen who helped us find our bags and escorted us to where Joyce & Molly were waiting!  The car ride was pretty short up into the Kenscoff Mountains where God's Littlest Angels calls home. The roads were primarily paved & there was even a yellow line dividing the sides of the road... not that anyone pays attention to them!!

Fort Jacques- Toddler 'Pods' 1-3 built, 4-6 being built!

We then arrived at GLA and were welcomed with open arms, balloons, streamers, signs & cookies! Seriously, the staff here is wonderful and inviting and am so glad to be a part of the GLA team! Over the last few days Rebecca & I have been settling in at GLA and into our wonderful accomadations! We've gotten the tour of the main house where we will be working and the NICU is along with the younger children & we were also able to be apart of cinema night at the toddler house which is about a 10 minute drive from the main house... Oh my goodness, such a fun time with all the kids (and with the staff as we worked together to make popcorn for the kids).  Today, Rebecca and I also went up to Fort Jacques where the new orphanage is being built... It's absolutely beautiful! Seriously, God never ceases to amaze me in the beauty he has created for us to enjoy.

We also have been getting oriented to the different nurseries at the main house and attempting to remember names of the children, nannies, nurses, & staff... Not to mention trying to communicate with our broken Haitian Creole! Can not wait to have language lessons!! I'm sure I'll have lots of fun stories about conversations getting lost in translation!

I have been a little under the weather since I left the U.S.... unfortunately I feel like I'm dragging a bit and a little foggy, so I apologize if this blog seems like a ramble.  Overall though, I am feeling excited about my new home and also thankful for God's provisions!  Well, that sums up the last 4 days in very little words but before I go, I want to thank those in the States that sent me off. Thank you for your prayers, support & love. I am so thankful for each one of you and blessed to have you in my life! 

...to be continued...

-B

"Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos but now I can see 
This is something bigger than me 
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly" 
-Sanctus Real "Whatever you're doing"

See you soon, Haiti!

Well, just two days away! Can you believe it?! I am so excited to start this journey God has called me to at GLA and become part of the team/family! I'm sorry if I wasn't able to see any of you in NC or PA. Can not wait for y'all to follow my blog in Haiti! So... off to strategically pack my bags, so they are under or at the 50lb weight limit and say my "see ya later's" to my family. Yep, that's about it... Short and sweet. See you soon, Haiti!!

...to be continued...

-B

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago". Ephesians 2:1

Oh, North Carolina.

I pre apologize for the potential length of this blog....

Ok. So. Where to begin?! I have less than 48hrs left here in North Carolina and up until now, everything has been very surreal. I have worked the past four nights, so the mental processing of leaving NC so soon hadn't really kicked in, but then everything starting coming together and the good-bye's starting happening... North Carolina has been a special part of my life.

To give you a little background....  I've kind of always been a goal oriented, self sufficient, work hard & play if time permits type of girl. Life in Pennsylvania after about 10th grade was very much about going to school and working my butt off to make money (and then spend it). I took care of others more than I took care of myself and may have found myself  in situations that were not the best or safest. Relationships came and went and hearts were cracked but somehow God managed to get me out of this so called "transition" time fairly unscathed with family and a few close friends by my side.

Then in March 2010 I decided it was time for a change; so in May of that year I packed up my things and headed South to North Carolina. I knew God had plans for me, I just wasn't really sure on what those plans would be. So I start my life in Durham, NC working at Duke as a RN and getting into this "new" life. For the first time since high school I was only working one job while finishing my Bachelor's degree. Seriously, I didn't even know what to do with myself. Having just one job kind of seemed silly but I did manage to pick up a great baby-sitting gig for a then intern, his wife & their two precious twin girls... Seriously that family brings such a smile to my heart! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Although work is work, I was really impressed with the team work on my unit and to see people who truly cared. God also blessed me with a best friend  & forever friend at work who kept me grounded and sane while in the "trenches" that is oncology-nursing. Many mornings were spent eating breakfast together after night shift or just a quick coffee & chat when ever scheduling permitted! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Also while in NC, I started attending newhope Church. It is there that I joined a small group/bible study (which I have mentioned before) with some of the most amazing girls. We have cried, laughed, prayed, screamed, struggled, encouraged, and rejoiced (etc) with each other... Oh, and don't forget the swimming, biking, & running!!! Yeah, Triathletes! Seriously though, many of our lives have changed drastically since then but they all have become better just by being together (at least mine has). ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Newhope is also the place that introduced me to The 410 Bridge and sent me packing with amazing newhope missionaries to Kenya & Haiti.

Yes, this is where I found Haiti. My new home. My passion. My purpose. 


Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the day I say my official good-bye's to my closest friends here in North Carolina.  That last breakfast after night shift, the last small group. Bittersweet... yet, I know there will be a lot of "see you later's" to be said because they are forever friends. I can't thank God enough for bringing us together for this season of our lives.

North Carolina, Duke, Newhope and the people who have been there throughout-You have forever changed my life. ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Can not wait to skype, email, kik, & update y'all (had to sneak in the y'all) from Haiti and God's Littlest Angels!!!!

Mesi, m'ap sonje ou! ((Thank you, I will miss you))

...to be continued...

-B

More than enough.

This week has been a constant flow of packing, moving, emotions, giving away, goodbye's, etc... So forgive me for a rambling of feelings. As I pack up all of my belongings and give away/sell the majority of all possessions, I'm actually filling a bit of excess. Seriously, in my small one bedroom apartment, I managed to accrue a multitude of clothes, purses, shoes, nik-naks. I have to say it's a pretty weird feeling whittling your way through years of "stuff"... unnecessary "stuff". This is post isn't to make anyone feel guilty, I am just becoming aware of all the money I have spent on silly possessions that were completely unnecessary and perhaps were never even used or worn. 

I feel a twinge of sadness but mostly I  have a feeling of relief when an item leaves my apartment. My anxiety drops a decimal point with each item that goes out my front door, it's like each item is a small step closer to Haiti. I don't really have anxiety about moving, it's just about getting rid of my stuff. I don't want to travel to PA with it... I really don't have the means or money to do that... and it's nice stuff, stuff that could be sold & therefore money to be put into my student loans & such... The key thing is this stuff has to be bought. Alas, I am down to just needing to sell my couch & dining set. Just two more things!! Yay!!

Today/Yesterday was also a answer to prayer. My best bud Boo (my dog), has a home!!! A couple met him and took him home the same day! I think it was just meant to be! Boo is going to be loved and in a good home! Such an answer to prayers!!

So tonight I'm going to leave you with a song. This song came on just as I was finishing up packing for the night. One of my absolute favorites and the one song that could calm my heart. It reminds me that God is more than enough and provides for us more than we could ever ask or imagine. 

Chris Tomlin "Enough"

All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every needYou satisfy me with Your loveAnd all I have in You is more than enough
You are my supplyMy breath of lifeAnd still more awesome than I knowYou are my rewardworth living forAnd still more awesome than I know
All of You is more than enough for all of meFor every thirst and every needYou satisfy me with Your loveAnd all I have in You is more than enough
You're my sacrificeOf greatest priceAnd still more awesome than I knowYou're the coming KingYou are everythingAnd still more awesome than I know
More than all I wantMore than all I needYou are more than enough for meMore than all I knowMore than all I can sayYou are more than enough for me



...to be continued...
-B

So there it is, take it as you will.

Well, today marks 3 weeks until I am in Haiti! At this exact time in 3 weeks I will be on a south bound flight from Miami to Port Au Prince and will land in Haiti at noon Sunday, November 11th. Crazy?!? Isn't it! Sometimes my life seems so surreal. I'm still amazed by the opportunity God has given me. As I pack and sell/give away the majority of my personal belongings, I hang on to those things that have the most meaning... like my diploma's from Gwynedd & Drexel, a night stand that I painted when I was in high school, a dish my mom got me when I first moved into a place by myself, stuffed animals  (two of which are my sister's & one from when I was born)... Silly things but meaningful none the less. Each item has a particular meaning and represent a different phase of my life.

For me, moving around has always been pretty easy. I know God will take care of me as long as I follow His lead. This move is no different in knowing God will take care of me, but as any twenty-five year old would, I have my insecurities about the unknown... Every move I've had the same insecurities. Insecurities arise whether it's a change in job, moving to a different city (or country), choosing a new church, trying to pay off debt, meeting new people, trying ANYTHING new. They're just silly thoughts the devil puts in your head to make you think that you're not adequate enough, smart enough, pretty enough, cool enough... These insecurities make you think about old friendships & relationships; why they lasted or didn't last and the new friendships that are sure to arise. Yet, still there is a calmness inside knowing that God's got it covered. No matter what. He's got it. 

So, things to do in the next 3 weeks (Lord Willing):

**Find Boo a new forever home**

Empty out my apartment

**Find Boo a new forever home**

Spend time with friends and finish up my last 5 shifts at Duke

**Find Boo a new forever home**

Drive through VA to see Kevin, Susanna, Karaline, Audrey (& hopefully my newest nephew)

Drive to PA to see the rest of the family

Catch a 0615 flight to Miami & then a 1000 flight to Haiti on Sunday, November 11th.

Continue this great adventure that God has blessed me with at God's Littlest Angels in Haiti

So there it is  take it as you will... insecurities and all. 

I'll leave you with my life verse:

Philippians 4: 6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

...to be continued...

-B

You just know.

You know those nights when you can't sleep. Maybe you drank some caffeine too late, maybe you have better things to do, or maybe you just have continual thoughts running through your brain... Whatever the reason, sleep doesn't exist. Tonight is one of those nights. Swirling thoughts, emotions, plans, etc. After over a week of traveling from between South Carolina, North Carolina, & Pennsylvania; I arrived home via a delayed plane and I've been sitting here decompressing. Continuously thinking about how wonderful the time was seeing two of my bests get married to the loves of their lives, visiting family and friends, shadowing in the NICU, and making new friends along the way. Yet, also thinking about how much needs to be done within the next four weeks.... I'm a list person and the list seems forever long is such a short time but I know God has it covered.

To most people, my choice to move to Haiti is shocking and is sometimes questioned. This past week or so has been full of questions and talking and talking and questions (you get the picture). I am happy to answer the questions though because I am so excited about the opportunity God is giving me! At the same time though, I am speechless because I am in awe and incredibly thankful that God has chosen me to lead the life I do. Life is never boring when you follow God!

A lot of people have been asking me if I am nervous to be moving to Haiti or my why I am moving to Haiti. Honestly, there are really too many words to describe how I am feeling but at the same time it is indescribable! Nervous, though isn't really a word that I use. I am nervous about the preparation over the next 4 weeks but not about the move. Why? Why move to Haiti?... The answer to this is described in a blog I posted 5 months ago, I left a part of my heart in Haiti, although many, many, many things have changed since this post. The only answer is that it's a God thing. Did you ever just know... like when you met your husband or wife, found the perfect car, chose your career, school, etc... well, that's just it. I just knew Haiti was where I would be. At the airport, as I left Port Au Prince last April, I told my team and my dear friend Ronald that I would be back before the years end. Our team at Newhope Church would not be returning until January of 2013 but I new I just had to be there. So November 11th, I will start life in Haiti at God's Littlest Angels. Seriously, as I mentioned before... Life is never boring when you follow God! So here is to the next 26 days! Praying for the Lord's guidance over the next 26 days and for all of the "list items" (dog, furniture, work, travels, money,  friend & family time, etc) to get taken care of and flow smoothly!

As I try to close my thoughts (and my eyes) for the night. I want to share a song/music video just released by Audio Adrenaline, it was taped in Jacmel, Haiti and answers the questions, Why Haiti? Why an orphanage? Why infants & children? Why love the least of these?

Kings & Queens

...to be continued...

-B

Logistically speaking.

So I just have to say God is so good. In just about 6 weeks I will be starting my life in Haiti and at God's Littlest Angels. If you missed my previous post You don't want to miss this, you should definitely read up and check out the video on God's Littlest Angels. So, one major thing I needed to do before moving was find my dog a home... Well, good news!!! Boo has a home with one of my co-workers at Duke (Thank you, Erica & Ian!!). I already am missing him terribly and I have 4 days left with him! I also really wanted to try to get rid of my road bike... because let's be honest a road bike has no use in Haiti... A mountain bike yes, a road bike... well that's a big fat no! Well, the road bike is gone, thanks to the store I bought it from! So, two big things off the list!

Over the past few days I've started to separate all of my things between Haiti, Pennsylvania, & Goodwill. Now, I've realized that I wear the same things over and over and a lot of my things will serve no use in Haiti. So mostly, besides a few items, it's pretty much just a Haiti and goodwill pile... Then we get into my furniture items, which thankgoodness, I have just a tiny bit of furniture in my 600sq foot apartment...It's got to go, because there is no use storing the little bit that I do have.

Many people ask me how long will I stay in Haiti. Honestly, I have no clue. My answer continues to be as long as God wants me there. Things may happen, scenarios may change, but Haiti will always be in my life.

Well, as I mentioned before, just about 6 weeks until I leave the U.S.... The next two weeks will be filled with wedding festivities in SC and PA. I'll spend about two and half weeks at Duke (& saying goodbye to my NC life) and then head on home to VA and PA where I'll spend my final week hanging out with the family... (I'm praying my newest nephew will be born prior to me leaving, his due date is a day prior to my potential leave date!!) Along with all that I'm going to try to work on my Haitian-Creole, dust up on some NICU skills (CPAP, IV's, etc) and get in some much needed friend time between PA, NC, & SC!

So anyways... this blog is a blog of logistics but good information none the less! I seriously could have not asked God to work out the logistics and timing better than He is doing right now.

I thank you all for your prayers and support!

...to be continued...

-B

You don't want to miss this.

Shock. Awe. Amazement. Nervous. Excitement, Ready, Thankful... Those are just a few emotions I'm feeling right now...

When I was left Haiti, 6 months ago after just spending a week there I knew that God was calling me to a life in Haiti and I told my fellow team members that I would move there before the years end. I realized that was a God-sized goal, but guess what, it's happening! I am so excited to announce that I will be moving to Haiti mid November 2012 ( yes, in just about 2 months)! I just was offered and accepted a position as a Registered Nurse at God's Littlest Angels, Inc. (GLA) in Haiti... You can check them out at www.godslittlestangelsinhaiti.org & www.glahaiti.org. Here is a glimpse into GLA...

Here is a little idea of what my role will be at GLA- My duties will include but are not limited to (along with another RN), watching over the Main house nursery, NICU, and Toddler House children, CPAP supervision, vaccination schedules, keeping track of things needed in the pharmacy and medical depot, treating of common ailments of the children and working with our pediatrician and other nursing staff.  I will also be traveling to outlying clinics at time to pick up sick children. All of the staff works multiple jobs. My position might require that at times too.  Such as baking cupcakes for the children’s birthday parties or helping unload containers of supplies that are shipped in.

I will update you as more details and dates arise.

I am so very excited about this opportunity and I can not wait to see what the Lord has in store!

...to be continued...

-B

I want to live like that.

Just wanted to share a song today. 

Sidewalk Prophets: "Live Like That"

Sometimes I think 

What will people say of me 

When I'm only just a memory 

When I'm home where my soul belongs 

Was I love 

When no one else would show up 

Was I Jesus to the least of those 

Was my worship more than just a song 

I want to live like that 

And give it all I have 

So that everything I say and do 

Points to You 

If love is who I am 

Then this is where I'll stand 

Recklessly abandoned 

Never holding back 

I want to live like that 

I want to live like that 

Am I proof 

That You are who you say You are 

That grace can really change a heart 

Do I live like Your love is true 

People pass 

And even if they don't know my name 

Is there evidence that I've been changed 

When they see me, do they see You 

I want to live like that 

And give it all I have 

So that everything I say and do 

Points to You 

If love is who I am 

Then this is where I'll stand 

Recklessly abandoned 

Never holding back 

I want to live like that 

I want to live like that 

I want to show the world the love You gave for me 

I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King 

I want to live like that 

And give it all I have 

So that everything I say and do 

Points to You 

If love is who I am 

Then this is where I'll stand 

Recklessly abandoned 

Never holding back 

I want to live like that 

I want to live like that

...to be continued...

-B

Row, row, row, your boat...

In the last blog, I spoke about facing your Goliath and what weapon you would use to defeat whatever was standing in your way. God can choose anyone. He just asks that we are humble and willing. I have been reading Kisses from Katie and this book has been such an encouragement in my choice to serve in Haiti (when ever God chooses that will be). If you haven't read it. You should. This particular quote coincides with my previous posts.

“Ordinary people. He chose Moses. He chose David. He chose Peter and Paul. He chose me. He chose you. Common people. Simple people. People with nothing special about them. Nothing special except they said yes. They obeyed. They took the task God assigned them and they did it. They didn’t always do it well, but they said yes, and with His help they did it anyway. Extraordinary tasks.” -Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie

A little tangent... but, it's about to get a little deeper. As I was talking to my mom on the phone yesterday, she reminded me that yesterday, August 20th, marked 30 years since my sister, Trisha, passed away from Leukemia. This October she would have turned 36 years old. Although, I did not know my sister, she has guided my life and choices I have made. I know it may sound weird but she is one of the main reasons I am a nurse today. I still remember my mom talking about the nurses who took care of her in the hospital. Trisha, was a spit fire to say the least. She was strong willed and spoke what she thought. She was strong and beautiful. In some ways I feel as if I owe it to her to live my life out to the fullest in whatever ways I can, I know she is sitting up in heaven next to Jesus watching over me and guiding my steps, while also laughing at all the silly mistakes I make. I want to make her proud. Although, I no longer have a biological sister here on earth. I am so thankful for my three sister-in-laws and my sister's in Christ who have had a major impact on me. Each person is placed in your life for a reason, whether they were physically there or not, they can still impact your life.

God is calling us all to something great. Love fearlessly. (borrowed from The 410 Bridge)

...to be continued...

-B

Oh and a little words of wisdom to end this blog from a 4 year old Trisha...

"Row, row, row, your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...Life is Tough."

Slingshots and Giants

So today is a big day... My big brother, Kevin is being commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Marines! Super excited for him but sad I am missing the ceremony and picnic to follow! So excited for him!

Anyways, after my last slightly sad and challenging blog, I was reading the story of David & Goliath and was looking though some of my sermon notes from the unlikely heroes series at newhope... (if you didn't catch them... make sure you do at newhopenc.org)! So yeah Pastor Scott spoke about David and being an unlikely hero. He was just a Shepard. Pastor Scott said few things that have brought me encouragement and have made me think during my journey to Haiti (whether it be in a couple months or in a couple years).

He said "The only two credentials God is looking for is Humble & Willing". I had to think about that, I am definitely willing but am I humble about my decision. I feel so strongly about my choice to move to Haiti that sometimes I don't think I am humble. Does that make sense? It may make sense to those I have spoken to about my decision. Needless to say... I really need to work on my humility and being humble not only in my decision, but in my life.

Pastor Scott also said that God is trains world changing heroes through their daily routines and asked how much we complain about routines... but David did the same thing day in and day out but his job was to protect those sheep from predators such as lions (Did you know David killed a lion before defeating Goliath? You should check out his story in 1 Samuel... it's a good one!). You know what weapon he had? Just a slingshot! So God gave David some amazing aim and trained him well on that slingshot... I bet David never thought his slingshot skills would lead him to be king over Israel... but guess what it did! My point is, at times our lives may seem mundane and somewhat pointless but one act can change your life forever. The routine that you have been in for the last however many days, weeks, years may just be God training you to be a world changing hero or how about we just start with one.... That routine could make you a hero to one person or even better, bring them to Jesus!

So, here's the blog questions of the day. Are you an unlikely hero? Maybe you are and just don't know it! What will be your slingshot? Who/what is your Goliath?

There is one thing I keep trying to remind myself during this application process... God can make opportunities arise at any second! Haiti is on my heart and on my mind. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted of any news or decisions! Please keep on praying! 

...to be continued...

-B

Jesus take the wheel.

A long overdue blog...

So life has been running faster and faster so it seems. I have been able to spend more time with my whole family in the last month than in the last two years! It is amazing how God knows just what you need. Just a little update on getting to Haiti... I have some serious prospects and I am praying that the organization, myself and most importantly God are all in the same agreement. I feel like we all are on the same page but there is nothing official, yet. Except one thing makes it seem more real than anything... the spiritual warfare. 

I'm going to need some advice on this one. Satan seems to be roaming around hitting me right where it hurts, trying to break me down, give up my heart for Haiti, etc. Satan knows the little things that may make you not trust in God to provide. I literally just got home to find a very unpleasant "letter" in the the mail. Which I'm praying is just a error on Drexel's part and not mine!

Have you ever dealt with this? What do you do to combat spiritual warfare? Okay, so this is also a blog to ask for prayer. I need it big time. 

My heart keeps going back to my life verse Phil 4: 6&7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".

So again I ask what do you do to combat spiritual warfare? Does anyone know of any good verses or passages to read? 

God is telling me to Go and I will! Satan you better watch out!

...to be continued...

-B

Here's to new adventures & new family members!!

Okay, Okay... it's been over 2 weeks.

So the journey continues... The process of getting to Haiti continues. I'm just so excited to know that God has these amazing plans and we're working together in order for me to get there! This is going to be a short and sweet blog of recent happenings...

The initiation phase has begun... Haiti is in my future.

Studying Haitian-Creole continues, but definitely need some help!

I'm going to be an aunt again... and again. Kerry & Shaun are pregnant (surprise on the sex of baby) and due any day now! Susanna & Kevin are also pregnant (with their first boy) and they are due in November!!! So these are number 10 & 11. Seriously being an aunt is an amazing thing. I love it. One of the biggest worries I have though about moving to Haiti is loosing touch with my nieces and nephews. I don't want them forgetting me! I know I'm worrying about silly stuff but that's truly one of my biggest worries.

So, prayers would be appreciated... I have lots of things to figure out before the big move. Where I should live? What should I do? Can I do it? Can I raise the support? Still thinking way further ahead than necessary but I figure praying early can't hurt!

So here's to new adventures and new family members!!!

...to be continued...

-B

Preparation

 Starting the blog with a fun time in Haiti!
 Melinda & I teaching the children the Macarena!

Since returning from Haiti, I've pretty much had a one track mind... Haiti. So the process is starting, after spending the last month or so researching organizations, I'm starting to get my name out. This upcoming week I will have my first phone contact with an organization and they will also speak with members of my church. This I suppose is where the organization "feels me out" and then, if they feel as though I fit, I will start the formal application process of becoming a long-term missionary! This process takes approximately 9 months for this particular organization. In the mean time I am continuing to research other organizations and if whether they may ne right for me. It's definitely a process. I equate it to researching job opportunities and applying. Many, many options but only God knows which option will be it. I'm excited for the possibilities and also nervous. There are many questions running through my head regarding organizations and how they go about serving. If you haven't already and have an interest in missions, whether they be local or international, short-term or long-term, I recommend reading When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert. This book is required reading before going on a missions trip with newhope. I am actually rereading it right now to see if my perspectives have changed from travel to Kenya & Haiti with newhope. Again, if you are thinking about missions, this is definitely worth your time. Even if you're not into missions, this could change your perspective to helping those around you throughout your life. 

So, in my last post I discussed being still and taking it all in... Still attempting to do this. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such a great support team in North Carolina and have such a supportive family when it comes to pursuing life in Haiti. Many people asked what my parents reaction was to the news of me wanting to do missions in Haiti... It's kind of like when I was 18 years old and I got a tattoo... After waiting awhile to tell my dad, he just said "you've been talking about getting a tattoo, I figured you'd get one eventually". That was definitely not the reaction I was expecting but I was pleasantly surprised. Although, I think my mom & dad may be internally freaking out, they are supporting me 100%. 

After coming back from Haiti I was hoping to get there by the end of the year and I know, with God, 2012 is totally possible, but I'm ok if it takes a little longer to get there. God is continually preparing me for the journey and I am so thankful to see some of God's preparation coming full circle (I've mentioned these things in previous posts). Also, I know I keep coming back to this is pretty much every post but God's timing trumps my timing. I just continue to trust the God's plan is in the works and everything will happen when he wants it to... being patient is the hardest part. I know I just said this above but the one thing that makes it easier is knowing that God is using this time to prepare me.

...to be continued...

-B

Be still

I'm currently sitting at the beach with one of my best friends and all I keep hearing is "be still" & "take it all in". I don't get to see Abby very often because of my move to NC but I'm so glad she's here. Last night I introduced Ab to my friends here in NC and it went really well! Plus we got amazing sushi!

I feel like when my friends & family from PA meet my NC friends they are reassured that I'm okay... I have an amazing support system here in NC ... I know my mom is definitely glad I have them at least. It's interesting moving by yourself to a place you know no one. I knew God wanted me here, wasn't too sure why and I won't lie... I was running away from a few things in PA but I'm starting to see/feel as if the move to NC was more preparation for my eventual move to Haiti; not to mention the fact that I would have missed out on a lot of things here & in Haiti. Although Haiti is more drastic of a move, NC showed me I can be miles away and still maintain relationships.

So yeah, the beach is beautiful today! I want to end this post with some thankfulness. I thank God for days that lift your spirits. I thank God for friends and family who are so incredibly supportive and reassuring and last but not least I thank God for giving me a heart for missions in Haiti. Here's to this "in between" time as I prepare... Here's to being still & taking it all in!

...to be continued...

-B

Kòman ou ye?

Me & Abby- An oldy but goody.

Ok, so I feel like I've been slacking a bit this week on posting. This past week was filled with one thing... Work. I don't mind though... Working helps me get to the goal of paying off all my school loans and getting to Haiti! Right?!? One other reason I don't mind working so much this past week is because I now have the next week to spend with one of my best friends Abby! She is coming to NC!!! YAY for visitors!!! I may slack on posts this week too, so I can spend some much needed time with Abby!

In my last post I wrote about dreaming a God-sized dream. Honestly I'm scared but not fearful, if that makes sense. There is a lot that goes into moving to another country... I'm finding all of this out gradually as I continue searching & researching Haiti, but I know all of it will come together. Recently one of my co-workers asked me about my heart and being in Haiti. I immediately thought she meant spiritual heart which still has a lot of work and growing to do but I knew that with God's help I was up to the challenge... and that's what I told her.... Well, she meant my physical heart... many of those who are reading this know me and know that I have had a heart problem since I was a teenager.. At the age of 16, I had an ablation, (not open-heart surgery) which for the most part slowed down my heart so it wouldn't continue to beat in the 260's sporadically... and yeah that's not a typo. Thank goodness for medically advances... The biggest thing I will have to be careful about is drinking the Haitian coffee... That stuff is strong!! God has been preparing both my spiritual & physical heart...

Some of the girls! After our first tri!

About 8 months ago I did my first sprint triathlon & this past march on my 25th birthday I did my second and in about 4 months I will do my third!! In the last post I gave you my life-verse Philippians 4-6&7 which is in regard to my spiritual heart... Now my motto for my physical heart is "Proving the doctors wrong, one tri at a time!" Get it, one tri!!! I know it's corny but so true. I started doing these triathlons with my life group from newhope (I told you they would come up again during my blogs)... One of many reasons I am so thankful to have these girls in my life. We not only encourage each other spiritually but physically as well.

Ok, enough of Brit's background... back to how I am getting to Haiti! I've been doing a lot of research on organizations in Haiti and those who are doing good things vs those who are not. It is an absolute shame to see there are so many corrupt organizations taking advantage of not only those people in Haiti but also those who think they are donating their money to a "good cause". I've narrowed my list down to a few organizations that I would love to be involved with... but hey if you have any connections, let a girl know!!! I think I say this at the end of most of my blogs... but this is a work in progress like so many things are in life.... while working towards my goals, I try to remember that God's timing may not be my timing.

P.S. While I prepare for Haiti... I'm practicing my Haitian Creole!!! Anyone want to have a conversation?
I'll start:

Mwen rele Britany. Ki jan ou rele? Kòman ou ye?


...to be continued...


-B