Love. Serve. Inspire.: January 2013

"Work hard, pray harder, and if you have any worries, take them to God--and leave them there." -Growing in Grace

First of all, wow! I can not believe I've been living in Haiti for over two months now! Routines are forming, I'm starting to retain Creole, and finally starting to be healthy! It's really hard to go through all of the happenings lately. Just this week, we were able to send twins home to there mama & papa after receiving assistance at GLA... Dixie just posted a blog about their story here Twins go home. I can not even describe the pure love and joy on that mama's face when she saw her two boys! Some other new things as of recently... Rebecca and I have started spending more time during the week at the toddler house, creole lessons have begun, and I was able to drive for the first time in two months (just up and down from the toddler house)!!! All very exciting things!

Some of the routines forming are "outside" of work too... Back in the states I never had a daily "routine". Working night shift, my world was kind of backwards. Never knowing when to be awake, sleep, eat, etc. But literally for the first time in years, I eat a "normal" breakfast, lunch, & dinner, I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning... Rebecca, Susie & I start the morning with devotions, and then I am able to end the night with devotions. Seriously, I know/knew how important it is to spend time in the Word, but I didn't realize how much it can change your perspective on the day. I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember, but the act of "pursuing God" has been kind of in the background of my mind. I've spent so much time worrying about school, family, finances, health. To be honest, for a while, sleep was more important to me than time with God. Just as relationships with people have peaks and valleys, so does a relationship with Jesus Christ. I just feel like I have been stuck in a valley of no quality time with God very long time. Recently in my devotions from the book "Growing in Grace" (a gift from Rebecca), a quote stood out to me.

"God asks that we worship Him with our concentrated minds as well as with our wills and emotions. A divided ans scattered mind is not effective." -Catherine Marshall

For a long time, I've had a divided and scattered mind. Life is busy, people are mean, prayers go unanswered, bills pile up... There are so many ways the devil uses to get your mind off of God and focus on things of this world. I have been studying Romans and tonight Romans 12:21 said it best "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Worry takes time from God, as each day progresses whether you live in the states, Haiti, Europe, or wherever in the world live, your worries up to God and leave them there.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayers and petitions, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

I know this is a lot of verses/quotes tonight... but they've been so crucial lately in my daily walk with God and in trusting God's will and plan for my life, I can't change the past but I can change my attitude, perspective, and life by trying to continually work on a deeper relationship with Christ. Again, peaks and valleys will always occur as in any relationship, but I pray the peaks outweigh the valleys.

...to be continued...

-B

Romans 12 (NIV)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

So, it’s been a while since I’ve written. Most recently I wrote about The Process & Lyrics to ease a heavy heart… It’s crazy how much can change from one blog post to the next. Tuesday, December 18th, Our precious Wadagens went to be with Jesus. The best way for me to explain Wadagen’s journey is to send you to Dixie’s post on God’s Littlest Angels blog site-- Wadagens... A true angel tonight. It’s still very surreal. One day this precious little boy is living in our room the next he is living in the arms of Jesus. Dixie said it best in her blog post…

“As a nurse, it affects you when you lose someone you have been taking care of in the hospital, but not quite like in the orphanage, because YOU are the mother of these children. They are yours. We stand in the place of their mamas to be there to kiss them when they fall down, hug them when they need assurance or just a little bit of love, and to keep ourselves between them and danger. So when we lose a child at the orphanage, we grieve like a mother, because we ARE their mamas. Even if it’s just for a short time, our role is as their ‘MOM’.”

Although I miss Wadagen's I am comforted in knowing he is up sitting next to Jesus with his heart healed and whole... and he's making silly faces at him! (Wadagen's didn't speak... but he sure did know how to make silly faces!)

Much has happened since then, my first Christmas & New Years in Haiti has come and gone. Although I missed my family greatly, I am blessed by increasing the size of my family through those I am surrounded by at God's Littlest Angels. I went on my first "hike" through the mountains this past Saturday... When in Haiti, you have to look past the garbage and litter that clutters the streets and look to what God has so beautifully and perfectly created. Most everybody and everything is hard to see, imagine, comprehend and may even be ugly when viewing it up close and personal. God can change your perspective, help you to look past the dirty window, trash, heartache, bitterness to see the Awesomeness He is and has created. Just think, God sees us up close and personal... ugly as ugly can be, but He looks past all of our flaws and ugliness and sees a beautiful, perfectly created, captivating person whom he loves and cherishes.

Healing is always a process. Grieving and healing is different for everyone but I am so glad there is hope found through Jesus Christ. I am blessed to have found that Hope. Over the past week I have had Casting Crowns "The Well" CD pretty much on repeat... If you don't own it, I suggest you buy it. Every song has me thinking, praying, & processing more than the next.

And all who thirst will thirst no more,

And all who search will find what their souls long for,

The world will try, but it can never fill,

So leave it all behind, and come to the well

So bring me your heart

No matter how broken,

Just come as you are,

When your last prayer is spoken,

Just rest in my arms a while,

You'll feel the change my child,

When you come to the well

So as my first post of 2013, but really a wrap up of the last few weeks of 2012... Here are some pictures to piece together the last few months of 2012.