Up close & Personal

So, it’s been a while since I’ve written. Most recently I wrote about The Process & Lyrics to ease a heavy heart… It’s crazy how much can change from one blog post to the next. Tuesday, December 18th, Our precious Wadagens went to be with Jesus. The best way for me to explain Wadagen’s journey is to send you to Dixie’s post on God’s Littlest Angels blog site-- Wadagens... A true angel tonight. It’s still very surreal. One day this precious little boy is living in our room the next he is living in the arms of Jesus. Dixie said it best in her blog post…

“As a nurse, it affects you when you lose someone you have been taking care of in the hospital, but not quite like in the orphanage, because YOU are the mother of these children. They are yours. We stand in the place of their mamas to be there to kiss them when they fall down, hug them when they need assurance or just a little bit of love, and to keep ourselves between them and danger. So when we lose a child at the orphanage, we grieve like a mother, because we ARE their mamas. Even if it’s just for a short time, our role is as their ‘MOM’.”

Although I miss Wadagen's I am comforted in knowing he is up sitting next to Jesus with his heart healed and whole...  and he's making silly faces at him! (Wadagen's didn't speak... but he sure did know how to make silly faces!)

Much has happened since then, my first Christmas & New Years in Haiti has come and gone. Although I missed my family greatly, I am blessed by increasing the size of my family through those I am surrounded by at God's Littlest Angels. I went on my first "hike" through the mountains this past Saturday... When in Haiti, you have to look past the garbage and litter that clutters the streets and look to what God has so beautifully and perfectly created. Most everybody and everything is hard to see, imagine, comprehend and may even be ugly when viewing it up close and personal. God can change your perspective, help you to look past the dirty window, trash, heartache, bitterness to see the Awesomeness He is and has created. Just think, God sees us up close and personal... ugly as ugly can be, but He looks past all of our flaws and ugliness and sees a beautiful, perfectly created, captivating person whom he loves and cherishes.

Healing is always a process. Grieving and healing is different for everyone but I am so glad there is hope found through Jesus Christ. I am blessed to have found that Hope. Over the past week I have had Casting Crowns "The Well" CD pretty much on repeat... If you don't own it, I suggest you buy it. Every song has me thinking, praying, & processing more than the next.

And all who thirst will thirst no more, 

And all who search will find what their souls long for, 

The world will try, but it can never fill, 

So leave it all behind, and come to the well

So bring me your heart

No matter how broken, 

Just come as you are, 

When your last prayer is spoken, 

Just rest in my arms a while, 

You'll feel the change my child, 

When you come to the well

So as my first post of 2013, but really a wrap up of the last few weeks of 2012... Here are some pictures to piece together the last few months of 2012.

Family Vacation-2012

Sara's Wedding

Abby's Wedding!

My life group-Summer 2012 Love these girls!

Triathlon #3--Complete! So blessed to have these girls by my side!

My last night at Duke- With Jacquelyn!

The new view :)

First Haiti beach experience!

Rebecca & I waiting to bring Wadagens home!

Most of the GLA staff here in Haiti

Best popcorn ever! NYE 2012

This smile=best Christmas present ever!

NYE at The Fort

And now that you're full, 

Of love beyond measure, 

Your joy's gonna flow, 

Like a stream in the desert, 

Soon all the world will see 

that living water is found in me, 

Cause you came to the well

And all who thirst will thirst no more, 

And all who search will find what their souls long for, 

The world will try, but it can never fill, 

So leave it all behind, and come to the well

-Casting Crowns "The Well"

...to be continued...

-B

One thing... Remains. (The Armor of God)

   Your love never fails, never gives up.

Never runs out on me.

  While in the process of preparing to move to Haiti, I was met with a lot of spiritual warfare. I wrote a blog called "Jesus take the wheel", which went into some of the struggles and spiritual warfare I was facing. While in North Carolina, the devil knew exactly where to hit me... and that was financially. I made the decision to move to North Carolina because I knew God wanted me there. I took a significant pay cut and dropped down to only one job (which was a first). I continued to finish my BSN and pay for that. After graduating, my college didn’t file a paper correctly for tax purposes and I got a bill from the IRS (this was eventually fixed) & not to mention the over $10,000 I paid out of pocket for dental work just in the two and a half years I was in North Carolina. Along with a few other bumps along the way, the devil knew finances were the one thing that may hinder me from moving to Haiti. I kept working through each bill, loan, etc… and kept telling Satin to “get out of my life”. After receiving the job offer at GLA, God provided in each circumstance in which “I was running low” and I am continual thankful he gave me the strength and courage to trust in Him and in His promises. I think Satan also realized that God can always beat him, even when it comes to finances! The few weeks before moving I felt calm and comfortable that God would provide because I was doing what he wanted me to do and moving to Haiti to serve Him and the people of Haiti.Fast forward to now. 

     Tomorrow marks three weeks of living in Haiti. I have been healthy and feeling good maybe 5 whole days. I had bronchitis the first week, followed by stomach problems and now I have had fever/chills & Strep Throat since Thursday night. New germs, food, travel, fatigue have most likely played a part in this but seriously in needs to stop. I want to be able to give 100% to the children, staff & volunteers at GLA. In my previous blog post I asked “What do you do to combat spiritual warfare? & Does anyone know of any good verses or passages to read?” I wanted to share what I found in case you were searching yourself and hadn’t found what you were looking for. Ephesians 6:10-20 says:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

     This set of verses is labeled “The Armor of God”; as you face the day doing God’s work, put on the full armor of God and let God do His work in your life. I will stand my ground against Satan and be cheerful, knowing that I am working for the Lord and he is my ultimate healer and provider. He will comfort me in my sickness and help me fight each battle Satan puts in front of me; whatever that may be. As I write this I can’t help but feel selfish. I live in this beautiful country full of beautiful people who are suffering. I know my financial and physical burdens will be healed. Others live without that possibility or even the hope of that possibility. I hope that as I live this life God has given me, I exude the Armor of God and am able to share the hope, strength, courage, & possibilities that come when you have faith in Jesus Christ. I leave you with this verse; “Search for the Lord and for His strength; seek his face always” Psalm 105:4.

…to be continued…

-B


An addendum... A day later.
As I finished up this post yesterday, I really wanted to find a song to lift my spirits along with Ephesians 6:10-20; so here it is: One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture.

In death, In life, I’m confident and

covered by the power of Your great love

My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can

separate my heart from Your great love...

 

See you soon, Haiti!

Well, just two days away! Can you believe it?! I am so excited to start this journey God has called me to at GLA and become part of the team/family! I'm sorry if I wasn't able to see any of you in NC or PA. Can not wait for y'all to follow my blog in Haiti! So... off to strategically pack my bags, so they are under or at the 50lb weight limit and say my "see ya later's" to my family. Yep, that's about it... Short and sweet. See you soon, Haiti!!

...to be continued...

-B

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago". Ephesians 2:1

Oh, North Carolina.

I pre apologize for the potential length of this blog....

Ok. So. Where to begin?! I have less than 48hrs left here in North Carolina and up until now, everything has been very surreal. I have worked the past four nights, so the mental processing of leaving NC so soon hadn't really kicked in, but then everything starting coming together and the good-bye's starting happening... North Carolina has been a special part of my life.

To give you a little background....  I've kind of always been a goal oriented, self sufficient, work hard & play if time permits type of girl. Life in Pennsylvania after about 10th grade was very much about going to school and working my butt off to make money (and then spend it). I took care of others more than I took care of myself and may have found myself  in situations that were not the best or safest. Relationships came and went and hearts were cracked but somehow God managed to get me out of this so called "transition" time fairly unscathed with family and a few close friends by my side.

Then in March 2010 I decided it was time for a change; so in May of that year I packed up my things and headed South to North Carolina. I knew God had plans for me, I just wasn't really sure on what those plans would be. So I start my life in Durham, NC working at Duke as a RN and getting into this "new" life. For the first time since high school I was only working one job while finishing my Bachelor's degree. Seriously, I didn't even know what to do with myself. Having just one job kind of seemed silly but I did manage to pick up a great baby-sitting gig for a then intern, his wife & their two precious twin girls... Seriously that family brings such a smile to my heart! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Although work is work, I was really impressed with the team work on my unit and to see people who truly cared. God also blessed me with a best friend  & forever friend at work who kept me grounded and sane while in the "trenches" that is oncology-nursing. Many mornings were spent eating breakfast together after night shift or just a quick coffee & chat when ever scheduling permitted! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Also while in NC, I started attending newhope Church. It is there that I joined a small group/bible study (which I have mentioned before) with some of the most amazing girls. We have cried, laughed, prayed, screamed, struggled, encouraged, and rejoiced (etc) with each other... Oh, and don't forget the swimming, biking, & running!!! Yeah, Triathletes! Seriously though, many of our lives have changed drastically since then but they all have become better just by being together (at least mine has). ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Newhope is also the place that introduced me to The 410 Bridge and sent me packing with amazing newhope missionaries to Kenya & Haiti.

Yes, this is where I found Haiti. My new home. My passion. My purpose. 


Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the day I say my official good-bye's to my closest friends here in North Carolina.  That last breakfast after night shift, the last small group. Bittersweet... yet, I know there will be a lot of "see you later's" to be said because they are forever friends. I can't thank God enough for bringing us together for this season of our lives.

North Carolina, Duke, Newhope and the people who have been there throughout-You have forever changed my life. ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Can not wait to skype, email, kik, & update y'all (had to sneak in the y'all) from Haiti and God's Littlest Angels!!!!

Mesi, m'ap sonje ou! ((Thank you, I will miss you))

...to be continued...

-B

Jesus take the wheel.

A long overdue blog...

So life has been running faster and faster so it seems. I have been able to spend more time with my whole family in the last month than in the last two years! It is amazing how God knows just what you need. Just a little update on getting to Haiti... I have some serious prospects and I am praying that the organization, myself and most importantly God are all in the same agreement. I feel like we all are on the same page but there is nothing official, yet. Except one thing makes it seem more real than anything... the spiritual warfare. 

I'm going to need some advice on this one. Satan seems to be roaming around hitting me right where it hurts, trying to break me down, give up my heart for Haiti, etc. Satan knows the little things that may make you not trust in God to provide. I literally just got home to find a very unpleasant "letter" in the the mail. Which I'm praying is just a error on Drexel's part and not mine!

Have you ever dealt with this? What do you do to combat spiritual warfare? Okay, so this is also a blog to ask for prayer. I need it big time. 

My heart keeps going back to my life verse Phil 4: 6&7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".

So again I ask what do you do to combat spiritual warfare? Does anyone know of any good verses or passages to read? 

God is telling me to Go and I will! Satan you better watch out!

...to be continued...

-B