My God is Stronger.

Apologies for the lack in posting, a few days after returning from the states my computer decided to have some major malfunctions... So here I am writing on my new computer.

So, the States... Definitely a great time, got to see most of my family and friends. I have to say being in the States was crazy challenging for me though, I wrote about some of my concerns in my previous post and I know that they were valid. I truly have changed since moving to Haiti last November; in more ways than I even know. God continues to work in me, in my relationships with others, my listening skills, my patience... especially my patience, for myself and for others. I found myself lacking patience in a place where everything is at my fingertips. I think I was more frustrated with myself and the events occurring around me to even know what to do. Day after day, I felt as if bad luck was following me. I know though it's just Satan, trying to whittle his way into my life, in every way he could think possible. I continually had to tell Satan to get out of my life. When dealing with spiritual warfare, that's the one thing I know to do best, tell Satan to get out and let him know he has no place in my life! He fights and fights, knowing exactly how to push my buttons and how to try to break me, even back here at GLA, he continues to battle against me and my relationship with the Lord. Just need to continually remind myself that my God is stronger and mightier than any attack Satan tries against me.

So yeah, for now, that's my thoughts and feelings. A quick blurb of the latest thoughts. More like vague rambling than thoughts, I suppose.

...to be continued...

-B

Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

-Isaiah 33:2

Time: Changed from the inside out.

What do you do with your time? What a loaded question. Honestly, I really don't know how to answer it. I could go into the events of my day. Take children's temperatures, give medications, assess, document.... so on and so forth. Lately, God has been convicting me on what I do with my time. I have been at GLA in Haiti for just about eight months and I'm just about to make my first visit to the States. Where has the time gone? What have I done with my time so far here at GLA? I'd like to say all of my "free" time was spent pursuing God, but that would be a lie. Yes, I used some of it to pursue God and have definitely deepened my relationship with the Lord over the past eight months, but there was also a lot of wasted time that was not used wisely.

I am slowly learning how to and trying to see Jesus in people. Although people will always fail you, each of us is trying hard to live each day to the best of our abilities; some struggling more than others. My hope is that the people who are seeing me are also seeing Jesus living through me. I want my spend my time and my energy making sure that people can see Jesus through the way I act, live, and speak. If that's the case, my time has not been wasted.Whether you live in the States or overseas; whatever occupation you have; God can use you to show Himself and His promises. Although, I've always been told God can use me, at times I don't believe it. Me? Really? What do I have to add to the story of Jesus? What cards do I bring to the table?


I have to be honest, I'm a bit nervous to visit "home". My life and my heart have changed so much over the past eight months. I've been changing from the "inside out". A dear friend of mine here told me that the longer you are here in Haiti, the less in common you have with those at home, and I'm already finding that to be true. God uses everyone differently, and for me, in this season of my life; God is using me here in Haiti. So for those I will see so very soon. I look forward to our visit and I hope that I can somehow describe and show you all the ways Jesus is working in my heart and through me here in Haiti. My prayer is that I can show Jesus to those whose paths cross mine in my travels. Maybe in a short conversation or just a smile. Attempting to soften my heart to those around me and use my time wisely.

You'll be changed from the inside out... God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. 

~Romans 12:2, MSG

...to be continued...

-B

Romans 12 ^{1-2 msg} So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

A Note from the Nursery

Hi all!

  Just wanted to redirect you to GLA's blog tonight, Notes from the Nursery. Please add these two beautiful children to your prayers tonight!

Thank you!
-B

Notes from the Nursery

Hello everyone!

Just wanted to let you all know that along with this blog; I will be posting to GLA's blog-Notes from the Nursery. Love Serve Inspire will still be up and running with more personal stories and experiences.By clicking the Notes from the Nursery tab above or by going to http://www.godslittlestangelsinhaiti.org/notesfromthenursery you can find out more in depth stories of what is happening at GLA and with the children! Thank you so much for continuing to follow this blog and my hope is that you also follow GLA's story through their blogs and website as well!

...to be continued...

-B

Encouraging words go a long way. Thank you.

There once was a time I would get an idea, subject, song, and/or  a person that I wished to write about… There used to be a day where my mind thought in potential blog posts. Though, now I feel as if there is so much to say, yet so little words to describe what is going on.  The past few weeks have just flown by.  It has been a month of constant growing and changing, not only in the children but in me as well. I’m learning that each moment of change, conflict, sadness, grief, etc. is a moment for growth. Whether I like it or not, whether it is awkward, uncomfortable, sad, or just plain undescribable; God is moulding me and changing me each and every day.  Hopefully, to look more like Him and less like me.  

Each day I am amazed by each of these children I spend time with daily, how much more they are able to do and accomplish. For the children at the main house, I am especially surprised at how much they are able to say!! Maybe because I didn’t necessarily know what the children were saying six months ago, I didn’t think they were talking much. But now I feel as if the children are just growing and blossoming. Recently we had a team here who helped evaluate some of the children. It was encouraging to see how well our children were doing and also to see for those who have delays or disabilities what they can do along with us to help the children develop and grow at a proper level.  It’s amazing how much some proper nutrition, love, and hard work can change a child. Not to mention seeing God alive and well within the hearts of these children and those who love them and pray for them! 

On a side note: I cannot express how nice it is to hear/read encouraging words from those who visit  GLA and those who follow our story; whether it is an adoptive parent, volunteer, team, a visitor, staff member, family, friend, or someone who just happened to find this blog. Those words of encouragement mean more than you could ever imagine.  

Tonight my words are few but please know that I'm am forever grateful for your continual support and encouragement. 

…to be continued…

-B

Take heart. The Lord has overcome.

Kids, Creole, & Colossians.

~Kids~

                Honestly, sometimes I feel as if my day is just filled with Kids & Creole. Here at GLA we have roughly 150 children. Some are here for just assistance, some who have been abandoned and/or orphaned, and some given up for adoption due to circumstances beyond their family’s control. Whatever the reason, God has placed each one of these children here at GLA and I am honored to be able to be a part of their lives. I am thankful to be a part of this transition time between either becoming healthy and returning to their biological family or before they are adopted and placed with their forever family.

                There are a lot of things I didn’t and still don’t know about the whole adoption process. Before moving to Haiti, adoption was a definite possibility for my future, whether single or married.  As I see the process and amount of work that is put into just one single adoption I’ve realized that adoption is a hard and grueling but amazing and rewarding process.  Over the past five months of being here at GLA, I have had the opportunity of seeing about 8 children go home with their forever families and have seen many parents meet their proposed children for the first time. It has been such an honor to see this process happen. I can’t even imagine how it is for those who have been at GLA with these children from the beginning. What an incredible sight and story to see unfolding! Lord willing, I hope to have an adoption story of my own and be that parent meeting their child for the first time and then taking them to their forever home with me (and maybe a husband).  

***If you want to learn more about the adoption process and the state of adoptions in Haiti you can go to Dixie's Blog and read her most recent post ***

~Creole~

                I really never thought I had the capacity to learn a second language… but lately I think I may. The more I learn in Creole class and the more I am immersed in the language the more I am starting to speak and understand! I am in no way fluent and/or even that great but each new word I learn or person I understand, I have my own little internal celebration. At times I can’t even believe that I am speaking and/or understanding and yet slowly but surely it is happening. I am so thankful for the patience of the Haitian staff and our Creole teacher.  Day by day, little by little…

~Colossians~

                Sometimes (a lot of times) I lose sight of what is God is doing around me and if my actions are pleasing to the Lord. I am not always thankful for the life God has given me. Whether I gripe about a past, present or even future situations, my eyes are on what is seen and not what is unseen (2 Corinthians 3:18).  Why I worry about these things is beyond me, but I still do. I’m a thinker and a planner. I feel as if I need to know what is next and what the future holds, but I know I can’t. Here in Haiti, the staff at GLA lives in pretty close proximity. We work, socialize and live together 24/7. Coming from living alone for a long time, this is/was a big adjustment for me. I was recently reading Colossians and chapter 3 verses 12-17 stood out me. It is directly related to me and the life I lead here at GLA. Although not always the easiest, God has placed me here for a reason and I know I need to keep these verses in my heart.

Colossians 3:12-17

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members on one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

               So yes, just three word sum up the past few months… Kids, Creole & Colossians. The devotions I have been doing end in a prayer that the author has written and I’ve decided to mimic it. 

~My prayer for tonight~

               Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to grow during my time here. May I please you with my thoughts, words & actions. Bless these children around me and those I have yet to meet. Bless those I work alongside here at GLA. Please give us all the strength to continue to do your work here in Haiti. As the adoption process continues to change here in Haiti, place your hand upon it and let your will be done with the future of adoptions in Haiti. Help me to stay focused on your glory and not my own. Rule in my heart. Amen.

…to be continued…

-B

Twenty-Five.

Really? When did it become February?! The time continues to fly by as I approach three months here in Haiti at God’s Littlest Angels. So, what have I learned so far? Here are 25 random things that I’ve become more aware of, have learned or am learning, embraced, accepted, etc.

1. Haiti is absolutely beautiful.

2. I don’t miss television but I do miss my dog.

3. I can buy just about anything at the stores in town that I would want in the states… just at a cost.

4. Three adults, two babies, an oxygen tank, and an ambu can all fit into the front seat of a truck (The Transport).

5. Sometimes you have to look past the dirt/litter/fog to see beauty.

6. Altitude makes a difference

7. Children are hurt intentionally and unintentionally.

8. Many things are beyond my control.

9. I like riding in UTV’s/back of a truck better than inside a car/truck.

10. Prayer is the most valuable tool/medicine/weapon.

11. It is hard not to bring work home with you when your home is your work.

12. Adoption is a beautiful thing.

13. I have a great support system.

14. I love the children I care for more than words can describe (7 babies in 24hrs).

15. Each smile, embrace, miracle reminds me why I moved here.

16. I miss my family/friends tremendously… but February does contain the most family birthday’s so it stings a little more this month.

17. Medical supplies get used until they don’t work anymore.

18. I work with some pretty great people (Haitian, American, Canadian & Australian).

19. The Creole/Kréyol language is a part of everyday conversation.

20. I despise student loans.

21. The Haitian staff is very patient with me as I learn/ try to speak Creole.

22. I need to take more pictures.

23. iTunes is amazing/ I listen to a lot of music.

24. Although I listen to a lot of music, I don’t like being in charge of picking the music in the car.

25. God’s plans for me are bigger than my own.

So, there you have it… maybe not the blog post you were expecting, but a blog post none the less.

…to be continued…

-B

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago". Ephesians 2:1

Up close & Personal

So, it’s been a while since I’ve written. Most recently I wrote about The Process & Lyrics to ease a heavy heart… It’s crazy how much can change from one blog post to the next. Tuesday, December 18th, Our precious Wadagens went to be with Jesus. The best way for me to explain Wadagen’s journey is to send you to Dixie’s post on God’s Littlest Angels blog site-- Wadagens... A true angel tonight. It’s still very surreal. One day this precious little boy is living in our room the next he is living in the arms of Jesus. Dixie said it best in her blog post…

“As a nurse, it affects you when you lose someone you have been taking care of in the hospital, but not quite like in the orphanage, because YOU are the mother of these children. They are yours. We stand in the place of their mamas to be there to kiss them when they fall down, hug them when they need assurance or just a little bit of love, and to keep ourselves between them and danger. So when we lose a child at the orphanage, we grieve like a mother, because we ARE their mamas. Even if it’s just for a short time, our role is as their ‘MOM’.”

Although I miss Wadagen's I am comforted in knowing he is up sitting next to Jesus with his heart healed and whole...  and he's making silly faces at him! (Wadagen's didn't speak... but he sure did know how to make silly faces!)

Much has happened since then, my first Christmas & New Years in Haiti has come and gone. Although I missed my family greatly, I am blessed by increasing the size of my family through those I am surrounded by at God's Littlest Angels. I went on my first "hike" through the mountains this past Saturday... When in Haiti, you have to look past the garbage and litter that clutters the streets and look to what God has so beautifully and perfectly created. Most everybody and everything is hard to see, imagine, comprehend and may even be ugly when viewing it up close and personal. God can change your perspective, help you to look past the dirty window, trash, heartache, bitterness to see the Awesomeness He is and has created. Just think, God sees us up close and personal... ugly as ugly can be, but He looks past all of our flaws and ugliness and sees a beautiful, perfectly created, captivating person whom he loves and cherishes.

Healing is always a process. Grieving and healing is different for everyone but I am so glad there is hope found through Jesus Christ. I am blessed to have found that Hope. Over the past week I have had Casting Crowns "The Well" CD pretty much on repeat... If you don't own it, I suggest you buy it. Every song has me thinking, praying, & processing more than the next.

And all who thirst will thirst no more, 

And all who search will find what their souls long for, 

The world will try, but it can never fill, 

So leave it all behind, and come to the well

So bring me your heart

No matter how broken, 

Just come as you are, 

When your last prayer is spoken, 

Just rest in my arms a while, 

You'll feel the change my child, 

When you come to the well

So as my first post of 2013, but really a wrap up of the last few weeks of 2012... Here are some pictures to piece together the last few months of 2012.

Family Vacation-2012

Sara's Wedding

Abby's Wedding!

My life group-Summer 2012 Love these girls!

Triathlon #3--Complete! So blessed to have these girls by my side!

My last night at Duke- With Jacquelyn!

The new view :)

First Haiti beach experience!

Rebecca & I waiting to bring Wadagens home!

Most of the GLA staff here in Haiti

Best popcorn ever! NYE 2012

This smile=best Christmas present ever!

NYE at The Fort

And now that you're full, 

Of love beyond measure, 

Your joy's gonna flow, 

Like a stream in the desert, 

Soon all the world will see 

that living water is found in me, 

Cause you came to the well

And all who thirst will thirst no more, 

And all who search will find what their souls long for, 

The world will try, but it can never fill, 

So leave it all behind, and come to the well

-Casting Crowns "The Well"

...to be continued...

-B

Lyrics to ease a heavy heart.

Jars of Clay: Love Will Find Us

Child of all creation don't let the world define you
And if you can't remember who you are
Let these words remind you

On the path of the empty handed
He will speak to the heart of the abandoned

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

So hard to feel the fires of home
When all we see is darkness
We forgive but not our own and grasp what's around us

Till the dawn starts to break around you
Let all the stars in the night remind you

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us

These orphan hearts (Will find a home)
Run to these arms (Be not alone)
Light is leading
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

Run to these arms, be not alone
Run to these arms, be not alone
Run to these arms, be not alone
Run to these arms, be not alone

Love will find us all
Love will find us all
Love will find us all (Run to these arms, be not alone)
Love will find us all (Run to these arms, be not alone)
Love will find us all
Love will find us all

The Process. (or so it seems)

So as many of you may have seen on my facebook; our dear sweet Wadagens was able to have his heart surgery this week. I want to go ahead and thank all of those who have been praying for Wadagens before, during and now after surgery. The process is very complex in Haiti and I don't believe anyone can fully comprehend the process whether you are part of the surgical team, a staff member at God's Littlest Angels or a prayer partner throughout the world.

Now, to start off... the process of getting Wadagens to have his surgery started way before I even got to Haiti; God had this planned from the beginning. This post will be composed of the past month spent with Wadagens.

Earlier this year, news spread to our Pediatrician that a French team of heart surgeons with an organization called The Heart Fund to Fight Cardiovascular Disease was coming to do their second mission in Haiti. Their first mission was this past April and just three children were chosen for surgery. This past Wednesday-December 5th, the staff at GLA was told that Wadegens was going to be evaluated as a possible candidate for surgery the following week. So on Wednesday afternoon Rebecca, Irland (a Haitian student nurse & staff member at GLA), Wadson (our driver & also a staff member), & Wadagens went to the clinic in Petionville about 20 min from God's Littlest Angels. At the time they were told he could not be evaluated unless they had blood for him... Blood for him? What? Apparantly to even be evaluated in Haiti you must have two units of blood on standby  and credited to Wadagens to be sure he would have blood available to him if needed during a possible surgery.

So Thursday morning, December 6th,  a few GLA staff members-Irland, Molly, Melissa, Rhyan, Rebecca & myself brought Wadagens back to the clinic to get a type and cross to get his blood type. Molly, Melissa, Rhyan, Rebecca & I then proceeded to go to General Hospital in Port Au Prince where the Red Cross was located. Upon entering the Red Cross I was very surprised to see about 20 people waiting with canisters and ice to get blood from the Red Cross... Thankfully, we were able to just drop Wadagen's type and cross off at the Red Cross and then we were redirected to a more "americanized" Red Cross in Port Au Prince which we all went to give blood. As I said before, he needed two units on standby... but they required four people to give blood. Thankfully, we brought five because I was sadly too anemic to give blood but Molly, Melissa, Rhyan & Rebecca were all able to give! I think we were all pleasantly surprised at the process at the newer more "americanized" Red Cross. It was actually faster than giving in the states and it was clean and well run... but we were also the only people coming to donate.

Thursday evening and Friday were essentially "rest" days until the next part of becoming a surgical candidate began...

Onto Saturday, December 8th. Dixie, Rebecca, Wadagens & I left early morning to spend the day at the clinic. He was number 23 on the list to be seen. While we waited Wadson, picked up the two units of blood for Wadagens...remember I said we needed to have those present prior to evaluation and he also so kindly brought us lunch! At about 1:30 Wadagens was seen, he had a quick echo done, was weighed & they reviewed charts and labs from previous evaluations. The concern for Wadagens is he only weighs about 10kg and surgeries had not been completed in Haiti on children this small with with this particular organization. So we left the clinic Saturday with a "We'll call you and let you know". So we all waited, anxiously waiting to find out if he was chosen... and we waited... and we waited. We thought we'd know by Sunday night but by Sunday night came and went and there had been no call.

8:15am Monday morning, December 10th, Dixie gets a call and Rebecca & I get a knock on our door to get Wadagens ready... Today MAY be the day but we needed to come to the clinic as soon as possible to start "the process". So Monday we spent the day at the clinic again. He had a more detailed echo done and more labs drawn pretty quickly after getting there and then we waited... Until about 4:30pm, we found out he was next on the list to get his surgery and was brought up to be prepped! He was going to have the surgery & he was going to have it that night! Until then we really didn't know if he was actually chosen.

Monday night Wadagens spent the night alone as they said they did not allow visitors. Just one visitor at a time and just for a short time. Tuesday morning rolled around and Dixie, Rebecca & I headed back down to the clinic to check on him... from what we understand the first night by himself was rough but I was not there so I really do not know the details of what occurred. Rebecca was allowed up around 9:15am. At first Rebecca & I were going to stay at the clinic and switch back in forth but at about 10am, Dixie and I had to leave to pick up a baby who was referred to God's Littlest Angels for malnutrition and a skin infection. So Rebecca was able to spend the day with him and then after much deliberation by the clinic staff, surgical team and some pushing by our pediatrician, I was able to spend the night (on and off) with him. So Molly was able to drop me off at about 5:30 and pick Rebecca up.Wadagens gets scared easily but as soon as he heard Rebecca or my voice he would calm down, so although at times some of the staff may have not like our presence, Wadagens sure did.

Tuesday morning, Dixie and Rebecca arrived to do another switch. Through out the past two days IV meds, oxygen, nebulizer treatments are being decreased and/or discontinued and he is becoming more comfortable... well as comfortable as a child could be after having open heart surgery. Tonight (Dec 12th) he will spend the night alone, unfortunately his roommate is having multiple complications and an extra person in the small room is not very welcomed, but the surgical team is wonderful and I have confidence that he was well taken care of. We will be back at the clinic in the morning in hopes of a discharge home to his family at God's Littlest Angels.

Truly, I want to thank all of those involved. This could have not been completed by just one person, church doctor, nurse, or just by the staff at GLA. Many prayers have been said, many phone calls made, many hours spent awake and many special considerations made. I am so thankful for the supportive staff that I am surrounded by each day here at GLA. It is such an encouragement to see to so many people work together for the children of Haiti. Miracles can truly happen when people work together with God. He is our ultimate healer. To God be the praise & thanksgiving. He is the one who made this possible for Wadagens.

So as I finish this post... I thank you for your continued prayer as Wadagens journeys to recovery. A child who is loved by many and is one of God's Littlest Angels.

...to be continued...

-B

One thing... Remains. (The Armor of God)

   Your love never fails, never gives up.

Never runs out on me.

  While in the process of preparing to move to Haiti, I was met with a lot of spiritual warfare. I wrote a blog called "Jesus take the wheel", which went into some of the struggles and spiritual warfare I was facing. While in North Carolina, the devil knew exactly where to hit me... and that was financially. I made the decision to move to North Carolina because I knew God wanted me there. I took a significant pay cut and dropped down to only one job (which was a first). I continued to finish my BSN and pay for that. After graduating, my college didn’t file a paper correctly for tax purposes and I got a bill from the IRS (this was eventually fixed) & not to mention the over $10,000 I paid out of pocket for dental work just in the two and a half years I was in North Carolina. Along with a few other bumps along the way, the devil knew finances were the one thing that may hinder me from moving to Haiti. I kept working through each bill, loan, etc… and kept telling Satin to “get out of my life”. After receiving the job offer at GLA, God provided in each circumstance in which “I was running low” and I am continual thankful he gave me the strength and courage to trust in Him and in His promises. I think Satan also realized that God can always beat him, even when it comes to finances! The few weeks before moving I felt calm and comfortable that God would provide because I was doing what he wanted me to do and moving to Haiti to serve Him and the people of Haiti.Fast forward to now. 

     Tomorrow marks three weeks of living in Haiti. I have been healthy and feeling good maybe 5 whole days. I had bronchitis the first week, followed by stomach problems and now I have had fever/chills & Strep Throat since Thursday night. New germs, food, travel, fatigue have most likely played a part in this but seriously in needs to stop. I want to be able to give 100% to the children, staff & volunteers at GLA. In my previous blog post I asked “What do you do to combat spiritual warfare? & Does anyone know of any good verses or passages to read?” I wanted to share what I found in case you were searching yourself and hadn’t found what you were looking for. Ephesians 6:10-20 says:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

     This set of verses is labeled “The Armor of God”; as you face the day doing God’s work, put on the full armor of God and let God do His work in your life. I will stand my ground against Satan and be cheerful, knowing that I am working for the Lord and he is my ultimate healer and provider. He will comfort me in my sickness and help me fight each battle Satan puts in front of me; whatever that may be. As I write this I can’t help but feel selfish. I live in this beautiful country full of beautiful people who are suffering. I know my financial and physical burdens will be healed. Others live without that possibility or even the hope of that possibility. I hope that as I live this life God has given me, I exude the Armor of God and am able to share the hope, strength, courage, & possibilities that come when you have faith in Jesus Christ. I leave you with this verse; “Search for the Lord and for His strength; seek his face always” Psalm 105:4.

…to be continued…

-B


An addendum... A day later.
As I finished up this post yesterday, I really wanted to find a song to lift my spirits along with Ephesians 6:10-20; so here it is: One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture.

In death, In life, I’m confident and

covered by the power of Your great love

My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can

separate my heart from Your great love...

 

Week "number two", in more ways than one.

This past week has just flown by! Sunday marked two weeks here at GLA. There is just so much to see, do & learn (including a lot of names & creole)! I am so glad that the welcoming of both the Haitian and foreign staff has been warm and inviting! Just in the past week we have gotten two admissions and released four back to their mothers from the NICU. Sadly, I was a bit under the weather when the admissions occurred so I wasn't able to see the process, but I'm sure there will be more. In case you missed it (I doubt it), but Thanksgiving also happened this past week! First holiday is Haiti went well! As a nurse and having worked in the restaurant business for many years, I am well acquainted to missing the holidays, but I have to say the food was absolutely delicious, we had fun decorating for Christmas and although I missed my family, the company of the staff and volunteers helped GLA feel like home!

I feel as if I am starting to become accustomed to the flow of the nurseries and the schedules of the children. Slowly, names are being learned and my knowledge of the creole language is expanding. Soon Rebecca & I will start language classes, which will help tremendously. Not only to speak with the children but also to speak with the staff, but as I mentioned before I'm sure there will be many stories about things being lost in translation or misunderstandings... For example! The other day a child just happen to put his hand in his dirty diaper and then proceed to you know, put it in his mouth. I was three seconds too slow for his fast little hands! YUCK, first of all... but pretty typical for a kid. Secondly, I told one of the nurses, "Ah! li manje ca-ca!", I thought I was saying... "Ah! he ate poop!" Little did I know ca-ca is a "bad" word... So, I pretty much said "Ah! He ate S***". What I should have said was "Ah! li manje ta-ta!" (ta-ta=poop). I was very nicely told by my dear friend Miss. Esther that I used a bad word and to use ta-ta instead of ca-ca! Oh man, I quickly apologized for my little mistake! Mwen Regret Sa (I am sorry). Now I know the difference and so do you!

Ok, so now that I've explained that fun time... Here's to more fun times and stories from Haiti & GLA. Off to bed... Early to bed, early to rise as they say.

...to be continued...

-B

Something heavenly.

Well, first things first... November 11, 2012 at just about noon, I stepped back on the soil of my new home... Haiti! Rebecca & I met in Miami airport just before departure to Port au Prince... besides a slight electrical problem on the airplane prior to departure (Thank the Lord!!), traveling went smoothly!! We then met a few nice gentlemen who helped us find our bags and escorted us to where Joyce & Molly were waiting!  The car ride was pretty short up into the Kenscoff Mountains where God's Littlest Angels calls home. The roads were primarily paved & there was even a yellow line dividing the sides of the road... not that anyone pays attention to them!!

Fort Jacques- Toddler 'Pods' 1-3 built, 4-6 being built!

We then arrived at GLA and were welcomed with open arms, balloons, streamers, signs & cookies! Seriously, the staff here is wonderful and inviting and am so glad to be a part of the GLA team! Over the last few days Rebecca & I have been settling in at GLA and into our wonderful accomadations! We've gotten the tour of the main house where we will be working and the NICU is along with the younger children & we were also able to be apart of cinema night at the toddler house which is about a 10 minute drive from the main house... Oh my goodness, such a fun time with all the kids (and with the staff as we worked together to make popcorn for the kids).  Today, Rebecca and I also went up to Fort Jacques where the new orphanage is being built... It's absolutely beautiful! Seriously, God never ceases to amaze me in the beauty he has created for us to enjoy.

We also have been getting oriented to the different nurseries at the main house and attempting to remember names of the children, nannies, nurses, & staff... Not to mention trying to communicate with our broken Haitian Creole! Can not wait to have language lessons!! I'm sure I'll have lots of fun stories about conversations getting lost in translation!

I have been a little under the weather since I left the U.S.... unfortunately I feel like I'm dragging a bit and a little foggy, so I apologize if this blog seems like a ramble.  Overall though, I am feeling excited about my new home and also thankful for God's provisions!  Well, that sums up the last 4 days in very little words but before I go, I want to thank those in the States that sent me off. Thank you for your prayers, support & love. I am so thankful for each one of you and blessed to have you in my life! 

...to be continued...

-B

"Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos but now I can see 
This is something bigger than me 
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly" 
-Sanctus Real "Whatever you're doing"

See you soon, Haiti!

Well, just two days away! Can you believe it?! I am so excited to start this journey God has called me to at GLA and become part of the team/family! I'm sorry if I wasn't able to see any of you in NC or PA. Can not wait for y'all to follow my blog in Haiti! So... off to strategically pack my bags, so they are under or at the 50lb weight limit and say my "see ya later's" to my family. Yep, that's about it... Short and sweet. See you soon, Haiti!!

...to be continued...

-B

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago". Ephesians 2:1

Oh, North Carolina.

I pre apologize for the potential length of this blog....

Ok. So. Where to begin?! I have less than 48hrs left here in North Carolina and up until now, everything has been very surreal. I have worked the past four nights, so the mental processing of leaving NC so soon hadn't really kicked in, but then everything starting coming together and the good-bye's starting happening... North Carolina has been a special part of my life.

To give you a little background....  I've kind of always been a goal oriented, self sufficient, work hard & play if time permits type of girl. Life in Pennsylvania after about 10th grade was very much about going to school and working my butt off to make money (and then spend it). I took care of others more than I took care of myself and may have found myself  in situations that were not the best or safest. Relationships came and went and hearts were cracked but somehow God managed to get me out of this so called "transition" time fairly unscathed with family and a few close friends by my side.

Then in March 2010 I decided it was time for a change; so in May of that year I packed up my things and headed South to North Carolina. I knew God had plans for me, I just wasn't really sure on what those plans would be. So I start my life in Durham, NC working at Duke as a RN and getting into this "new" life. For the first time since high school I was only working one job while finishing my Bachelor's degree. Seriously, I didn't even know what to do with myself. Having just one job kind of seemed silly but I did manage to pick up a great baby-sitting gig for a then intern, his wife & their two precious twin girls... Seriously that family brings such a smile to my heart! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Although work is work, I was really impressed with the team work on my unit and to see people who truly cared. God also blessed me with a best friend  & forever friend at work who kept me grounded and sane while in the "trenches" that is oncology-nursing. Many mornings were spent eating breakfast together after night shift or just a quick coffee & chat when ever scheduling permitted! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Also while in NC, I started attending newhope Church. It is there that I joined a small group/bible study (which I have mentioned before) with some of the most amazing girls. We have cried, laughed, prayed, screamed, struggled, encouraged, and rejoiced (etc) with each other... Oh, and don't forget the swimming, biking, & running!!! Yeah, Triathletes! Seriously though, many of our lives have changed drastically since then but they all have become better just by being together (at least mine has). ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Newhope is also the place that introduced me to The 410 Bridge and sent me packing with amazing newhope missionaries to Kenya & Haiti.

Yes, this is where I found Haiti. My new home. My passion. My purpose. 


Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the day I say my official good-bye's to my closest friends here in North Carolina.  That last breakfast after night shift, the last small group. Bittersweet... yet, I know there will be a lot of "see you later's" to be said because they are forever friends. I can't thank God enough for bringing us together for this season of our lives.

North Carolina, Duke, Newhope and the people who have been there throughout-You have forever changed my life. ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Can not wait to skype, email, kik, & update y'all (had to sneak in the y'all) from Haiti and God's Littlest Angels!!!!

Mesi, m'ap sonje ou! ((Thank you, I will miss you))

...to be continued...

-B

More than enough.

This week has been a constant flow of packing, moving, emotions, giving away, goodbye's, etc... So forgive me for a rambling of feelings. As I pack up all of my belongings and give away/sell the majority of all possessions, I'm actually filling a bit of excess. Seriously, in my small one bedroom apartment, I managed to accrue a multitude of clothes, purses, shoes, nik-naks. I have to say it's a pretty weird feeling whittling your way through years of "stuff"... unnecessary "stuff". This is post isn't to make anyone feel guilty, I am just becoming aware of all the money I have spent on silly possessions that were completely unnecessary and perhaps were never even used or worn. 

I feel a twinge of sadness but mostly I  have a feeling of relief when an item leaves my apartment. My anxiety drops a decimal point with each item that goes out my front door, it's like each item is a small step closer to Haiti. I don't really have anxiety about moving, it's just about getting rid of my stuff. I don't want to travel to PA with it... I really don't have the means or money to do that... and it's nice stuff, stuff that could be sold & therefore money to be put into my student loans & such... The key thing is this stuff has to be bought. Alas, I am down to just needing to sell my couch & dining set. Just two more things!! Yay!!

Today/Yesterday was also a answer to prayer. My best bud Boo (my dog), has a home!!! A couple met him and took him home the same day! I think it was just meant to be! Boo is going to be loved and in a good home! Such an answer to prayers!!

So tonight I'm going to leave you with a song. This song came on just as I was finishing up packing for the night. One of my absolute favorites and the one song that could calm my heart. It reminds me that God is more than enough and provides for us more than we could ever ask or imagine. 

Chris Tomlin "Enough"

All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every needYou satisfy me with Your loveAnd all I have in You is more than enough
You are my supplyMy breath of lifeAnd still more awesome than I knowYou are my rewardworth living forAnd still more awesome than I know
All of You is more than enough for all of meFor every thirst and every needYou satisfy me with Your loveAnd all I have in You is more than enough
You're my sacrificeOf greatest priceAnd still more awesome than I knowYou're the coming KingYou are everythingAnd still more awesome than I know
More than all I wantMore than all I needYou are more than enough for meMore than all I knowMore than all I can sayYou are more than enough for me



...to be continued...
-B