Encouraging words go a long way. Thank you.

There once was a time I would get an idea, subject, song, and/or  a person that I wished to write about… There used to be a day where my mind thought in potential blog posts. Though, now I feel as if there is so much to say, yet so little words to describe what is going on.  The past few weeks have just flown by.  It has been a month of constant growing and changing, not only in the children but in me as well. I’m learning that each moment of change, conflict, sadness, grief, etc. is a moment for growth. Whether I like it or not, whether it is awkward, uncomfortable, sad, or just plain undescribable; God is moulding me and changing me each and every day.  Hopefully, to look more like Him and less like me.  

Each day I am amazed by each of these children I spend time with daily, how much more they are able to do and accomplish. For the children at the main house, I am especially surprised at how much they are able to say!! Maybe because I didn’t necessarily know what the children were saying six months ago, I didn’t think they were talking much. But now I feel as if the children are just growing and blossoming. Recently we had a team here who helped evaluate some of the children. It was encouraging to see how well our children were doing and also to see for those who have delays or disabilities what they can do along with us to help the children develop and grow at a proper level.  It’s amazing how much some proper nutrition, love, and hard work can change a child. Not to mention seeing God alive and well within the hearts of these children and those who love them and pray for them! 

On a side note: I cannot express how nice it is to hear/read encouraging words from those who visit  GLA and those who follow our story; whether it is an adoptive parent, volunteer, team, a visitor, staff member, family, friend, or someone who just happened to find this blog. Those words of encouragement mean more than you could ever imagine.  

Tonight my words are few but please know that I'm am forever grateful for your continual support and encouragement. 

…to be continued…

-B

Take heart. The Lord has overcome.

Oh, North Carolina.

I pre apologize for the potential length of this blog....

Ok. So. Where to begin?! I have less than 48hrs left here in North Carolina and up until now, everything has been very surreal. I have worked the past four nights, so the mental processing of leaving NC so soon hadn't really kicked in, but then everything starting coming together and the good-bye's starting happening... North Carolina has been a special part of my life.

To give you a little background....  I've kind of always been a goal oriented, self sufficient, work hard & play if time permits type of girl. Life in Pennsylvania after about 10th grade was very much about going to school and working my butt off to make money (and then spend it). I took care of others more than I took care of myself and may have found myself  in situations that were not the best or safest. Relationships came and went and hearts were cracked but somehow God managed to get me out of this so called "transition" time fairly unscathed with family and a few close friends by my side.

Then in March 2010 I decided it was time for a change; so in May of that year I packed up my things and headed South to North Carolina. I knew God had plans for me, I just wasn't really sure on what those plans would be. So I start my life in Durham, NC working at Duke as a RN and getting into this "new" life. For the first time since high school I was only working one job while finishing my Bachelor's degree. Seriously, I didn't even know what to do with myself. Having just one job kind of seemed silly but I did manage to pick up a great baby-sitting gig for a then intern, his wife & their two precious twin girls... Seriously that family brings such a smile to my heart! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Although work is work, I was really impressed with the team work on my unit and to see people who truly cared. God also blessed me with a best friend  & forever friend at work who kept me grounded and sane while in the "trenches" that is oncology-nursing. Many mornings were spent eating breakfast together after night shift or just a quick coffee & chat when ever scheduling permitted! ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Also while in NC, I started attending newhope Church. It is there that I joined a small group/bible study (which I have mentioned before) with some of the most amazing girls. We have cried, laughed, prayed, screamed, struggled, encouraged, and rejoiced (etc) with each other... Oh, and don't forget the swimming, biking, & running!!! Yeah, Triathletes! Seriously though, many of our lives have changed drastically since then but they all have become better just by being together (at least mine has). ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!))

Newhope is also the place that introduced me to The 410 Bridge and sent me packing with amazing newhope missionaries to Kenya & Haiti.

Yes, this is where I found Haiti. My new home. My passion. My purpose. 


Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the day I say my official good-bye's to my closest friends here in North Carolina.  That last breakfast after night shift, the last small group. Bittersweet... yet, I know there will be a lot of "see you later's" to be said because they are forever friends. I can't thank God enough for bringing us together for this season of our lives.

North Carolina, Duke, Newhope and the people who have been there throughout-You have forever changed my life. ((Mesi, m'ap sonje ou!)) Can not wait to skype, email, kik, & update y'all (had to sneak in the y'all) from Haiti and God's Littlest Angels!!!!

Mesi, m'ap sonje ou! ((Thank you, I will miss you))

...to be continued...

-B

Logistically speaking.

So I just have to say God is so good. In just about 6 weeks I will be starting my life in Haiti and at God's Littlest Angels. If you missed my previous post You don't want to miss this, you should definitely read up and check out the video on God's Littlest Angels. So, one major thing I needed to do before moving was find my dog a home... Well, good news!!! Boo has a home with one of my co-workers at Duke (Thank you, Erica & Ian!!). I already am missing him terribly and I have 4 days left with him! I also really wanted to try to get rid of my road bike... because let's be honest a road bike has no use in Haiti... A mountain bike yes, a road bike... well that's a big fat no! Well, the road bike is gone, thanks to the store I bought it from! So, two big things off the list!

Over the past few days I've started to separate all of my things between Haiti, Pennsylvania, & Goodwill. Now, I've realized that I wear the same things over and over and a lot of my things will serve no use in Haiti. So mostly, besides a few items, it's pretty much just a Haiti and goodwill pile... Then we get into my furniture items, which thankgoodness, I have just a tiny bit of furniture in my 600sq foot apartment...It's got to go, because there is no use storing the little bit that I do have.

Many people ask me how long will I stay in Haiti. Honestly, I have no clue. My answer continues to be as long as God wants me there. Things may happen, scenarios may change, but Haiti will always be in my life.

Well, as I mentioned before, just about 6 weeks until I leave the U.S.... The next two weeks will be filled with wedding festivities in SC and PA. I'll spend about two and half weeks at Duke (& saying goodbye to my NC life) and then head on home to VA and PA where I'll spend my final week hanging out with the family... (I'm praying my newest nephew will be born prior to me leaving, his due date is a day prior to my potential leave date!!) Along with all that I'm going to try to work on my Haitian-Creole, dust up on some NICU skills (CPAP, IV's, etc) and get in some much needed friend time between PA, NC, & SC!

So anyways... this blog is a blog of logistics but good information none the less! I seriously could have not asked God to work out the logistics and timing better than He is doing right now.

I thank you all for your prayers and support!

...to be continued...

-B

I left a part of my heart in Haiti.

I left off saying I wasn't ready to listen to what God needed to tell me... In the midst of getting ready for Haiti, there was something blocking all thoughts of future endeavors outside the U.S., I actually considered that maybe God had taken the desire to do long-term overseas missions off my heart and a life stateside was His plan... I knew I'd always make short-term missions throughout my life but maybe I just wasn't made to be a medical 'missionary'.

Now, everyone can be a missionary; whether it be in your community, your workplace, state, country, or overseas. Prior to Haiti, I had lost my focus... I'm not sure if others have gone through this but mid 20's can be a weird age... For me, I was now finished with school and not dating anyone with the potential of marriage so I felt very static, in-between, blah... My life consisted of going to work and coming home to my dog... (He's pretty special though) Anyone else? I felt like my friends who are still in college hung out together and my married or soon-to-be married/ seriously dating friends hung out, and all my PA friends... well they're in PA. So, sometimes I just felt a little out of place. Do I really just have to go to work and come home? I know a few of my friends are also in this "in-between" phase, so I know I'm not alone. Still... life went on.

So anyway... since school was finished I decided to focus on a few things, set some goals for myself. I am totally a person who has to set goals for myself. I can't just go to work and come home. My goals were to focus on paying off my school debt, train for my second triathlon, prepare for Haiti, and most importantly deepen my relationship with God. March was a huge month for me... It was the month before my trip to Haiti. I completed my second triathlon (doctors never thought I'd do anything of the sort due to my heart) and I turned 25... P.S. greatest friends in the world award... My NC friends threw me a surprise birthday party and it was a complete and total surprise. I still can't believe no one spilled! It was an amazing month. So much was accomplished, goals were being met... so on and so forth.

So, I guess it's time for the big announcement. Although I am continually working towards those goals as listed above, I have a huge goal.

......DRUM ROLL PLEASE.......

HAITI IS IT!!! Haiti is where I want to spend a the next part of my life, who knows maybe all of it. I think about day 3 in Haiti I realized that my focus, besides all of those things listed above, is to move to Haiti full time. Many things are still up in the air. I don't know what part of Haiti, what organization, when or how I will get there, but I do know God has placed this desire on my heart and it will happen! So here's the kicker, I need your prayers... Lots of things to do and figure out before I go. I have been researching organizations and studying Haitian-Creole (Mwen renmen Haiti!). I don't know if it will be this year or further in the future I just know I have to go. So your prayers are much appreciated.

I guess you are probably wondering, how I decided on Haiti... The best answer is... I just know. I was ready to hear what God needed to tell me. Strangely enough, I have always been able to make huge decisions quickly and calmly. God says Go and there I go... Just like when I chose a college, my move to NC and now my eventual move to Haiti (Don't ask me what I want for dinner though because that takes forever and a day!). I am extremely calm about my decision (it could be because it's not quite real yet). I feel comforted. I feel completely ready for what God has in store. So a few people have alreay heart this news and I've gotten a lot of questions like "really?", "aren't you afraid?", "can you do it?"... Well here are the answers; Yes, really! What is there to be afraid of, God will protect me; I'm more afraid of not following my heart and God to Haiti. Lastly, no I can not do it alone but God can surely make it possible.

This precious girl is Kalinda... She is one of those pieces of my heart I left in Haiti.

Here's the thing...


I left a part of my heart in Haiti and now I have to follow it. 

...to be continued...

-B-

Free

So, life after Kenya & before Haiti... One word. Three syllables. Confusing!!!! After Kenya I was a bit lost. Now, I can be a semi-introverted person but once you get to know me... I will talk your ear off! So, upon arriving back in the states, I kind of did a back slide into being by myself and protecting myself from disappointment. I don't ever really want to delve deep into life's 'disappointments' in this blog... because it is pointless. The only thing I have to say (which seems to be a trend) is that God truly has a plan and purpose for every person's life and He will do nothing to harm you. I've come to learn this at a young age... Please don't get me wrong, during life's little valley's I questioned this very point but as I crawl out of the hole of negativity I put myself in, I see God's light shining through my life. I still struggle day in and day out with the ups and downs of life and ask God questions of why... I use to feel like I was a child asking their parent why and hearing "because I said so"... but now I feel like I hear "because I love you".

Okay, so I know in the last post I said Kenya wasn't necessarily "life changing" for me but it did change my perspective on life and those who have been, will be, or currently are in my life. In my short twenty-five years, I have held a lot grudges against those who have harmed me in any way, shape, or form... They may have not even known they had done something but I still held a grudge. Their words or actions would eat me up inside... for years and years I held on to things of the past.... On our last night in Kenya, Dave, our team leader, did a debrief called "a road map" and it's wonderful (this will be a very long post or a lot of short posts for another time). As Dave spoke, I listened and one thing that still stands out was his wanting to forgive quicker. What? Forgive quicker? I have always thought long and hard about before forgiving someone, let alone forgiving them quickly. Well, essentially this is the practice of deciding beforehand that everyone around you is automatically forgiven, before they even have the chance to hurt you. Doesn't this make sense! I'm sure all of those people I had held grudges against never lost a wink of sleep over how I think they hurt me... So WHY SHOULD I?!? Please don't get me wrong I get annoyed and I don't necessarily forget things that occur... but I try not to let other people affect my life in a negative way. I'm going to continue to put a smile on my face and keep on going, knowing they are forgiven and voila... the weight is off my shoulders and I can sleep!

Back to the confusing part... I was free from the burden of being unable to forgive people and holding grudges but I think I was holding a little bit of a grudge against God and myself.... Kenya was it. That is where I would serve overseas... that's what I had always had in mind... God didn't you place the desire to go to Kenya on my heart? Why isn't there a desire to move there? Why am I so disappointed? Why am I so quiet? Why do I feel alone? Many questions swirled through my head and my heart through the next 10 months leading up to my Haiti trip. After making a commitment to going on the Haiti trip at times I even doubted I should go there because I wanted to "protect" myself from the hurt and disappoint that I felt after returning home from Kenya.

Originally, I had planned to go to both of newhope's Haiti trips. There was a trip in January and in April but an unexpected $6,000 dental bill threw my finances into a downward spiral that I had not really planned for.... Some of you know I'm crazy about paying off my debt and becoming debt free, I have excel spreadsheets and all... Well, after just completing my BSN and that pretty dentist bill I didn't even know if I could squeak out the second trip... If you hadn't guessed already, I backed out of the January trip and put my focus on working major amounts of overtime! I laugh at this now because I realize that God would have made it happen if He wanted me to go on that trip.

It's amazing to look back and realize why something had happened and where you'd be if it hadn't or the other way around. Although I've only been back from Haiti for a little over three weeks I can already see why I didn't go on that trip....

I wasn't ready to hear what God needed to tell me.

...to be continued...

-B

Here it goes!

Well I've given in to blogging.


So, here it goes... my chance to inspire. 


The Goal:

Inspiring others through my journey & keeping myself accountable. 


I know you're asking yourself... Journey? Really? Well here are some things I'm working on right now that will be the main focus of this blog.

1. Deepening my relationship with God.

2. Becoming debt free.

3. Move to Haiti potentially by the end of 2012. (Depending on God's timing of course)

I'll go into further detail eventually about all of those. 

Welcome to my journey... 

-B